Saturday, May 27, 2006

...But Maybe There Is a Special Small-Business Program for Pooper Scoopers

Following in the tradition of Michael Brown . . . George Deutsch . . . Jeff Gannon . . .

XicanoPwr reports that the President's federally funded Affirmative Action Program for Extraordinarily Stupid White Men has awarded its latest grant to White House employee Blake Gottesman, who has been admitted to the prestigious Harvard Business School even though he never received a college degree.

According to the Harvard Crimson, Gottesman's entire work experience as a member of the executive branch has been cleaning up the deposits left on the lawn by Barney and Miss Beazley, the President's Scottish terriers. After one year at Claremont-McKenna College, he dropped out of college to work for the Bush Administration, where he received extra credit for carrying "President Bush's breath mints and [making] him peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches."

But, you ask, how much did Gottesman receive for these menial tasks? A cool $95,000 a year.

Oh--and he used to be Jenna's boyfriend

We also learn that Gottesman's unfortunate nickname is "Peanut," which, I suppose, makes him the perfect companion for "Heck-of-a-Job Brownie."

There are far too many days when I can't distinguish the "true" stories from the news reported in The Onion.

Addendum:: See last year's unbelievably fawning profile of Gottesman written by the embarassing Elizabeth Bumiller for The New York Times--the very newspaper whose reporters, according to Jack Shafer, are not like the other lapdogs in the Washington press corp.